Thursday, November 26, 2009

Nobody Needs Their Pills On The Holidays...

Save your Paxil pill, your Zoloft, your Lexapro today. It's the holiday. A day of joy. Just ask my neighbor. Yesterday he despised me. Tomorrow he'll hate me more. But today... today he loves me. And he didn't need his pill to show it.

Actually, most people are overly polite on a holiday. Ever notice?

A woman who normally hates my dog saw me walking her today and smiled. It was a smile filled with hope and joy that you only see 3-4 times a year on a major American/"Christian" holiday. Forgive me for being cynical, but I know that b*tch is gonna give me and my dog a dirty look tomorrow, after she's digested her turkey. Save your pill for tomorrow, sweet b*tch.

Unlike most people I tend to cry on holidays. I'm not totally sure why. Sometimes I think of the elderly, the homeless, pets with missing limbs. I don't know why. Maybe I'm emotional. I have some emotions.

I guess what I'm saying is since you're off your pills for a day, can you send one my way?


Blythe Landry said...'s I just get around this whole mess by being a curmedgeon all year long, so there is no expectation of "diffence" or diversion from my image during the holidays..I mean, who doesn't like throwing her neighbor's tinsel in the trashcan here and again? But, I'll tell you, it is just as much fun to eat the last cupcake in the staff lounge on a non-holiday too..Who needs the holidays anyway? Between Chrissy and I, we are crying enough to keep Kleenex in business.

Anonymous said...

and i tend to take way too many pills this time of year. it would be great if all those people donated to my overdose! i think it's the perfect time of year to ask. do in the name of jesus if it helps.