Friday, January 1, 2010

Why People Need a Second Dog

So, let me clarify.
If I could have a subtitle to my title for today's post, it would say: Why People Need a Second Dog: I Mean, if They Don't Have Kids.

You See,
I treat my dog, Sammy, like a baby. Yvonne and I wrap her in swaddling blankets (like christmas, get it?) and talk about buying her a baby bjorn (spelling?) and getting her a pet highchair so she feels like part of the family when we are eating. We talk about things like her feelings, her likes, her best friends and their parents, her favorite meals and, of course, where she would like us to send her to college if she weren't already going to be offered a full scholarship.

Oh, and, of course, we have one of those touchy, feely, "family beds."

The dog has no boundaries, but, damn, is she cute.

That being said, it appears that Yvonne and I have both forgotten that she is actually a dog, and, well, not a daughter, aged-3, raring to go to her first year of kindergarten in 2012.

And why do we realize this?

Well, first off, Costa made some comment on my facebook about me not knowing that real babies don't wear leashes..which, somehow insinuates that "Sam" is not my REAL baby. Um, the nerve of someone saying this to a childless, 35-year-old lesbian who gets some glimmer of self-esteem that she has a child when all 364 of her other facebook friends (other than Costa, who is also in her thirties, childless and a lesbian) have 2.5 kids and have been married to the same person for 8.7 years?

Secondly, we also know this because Yvonne, in chatting the other day, made the comment, "Man, I really need a dog..."

"Um, I said...what is 'this,' a half-dog?"

"Baby is not a dog, Blythe...well, she is a baby baby."

My my my.

But it is true, Sam is not a "dog," she is a mini-me, the child I have never wanted, but love anyway because, well, she is mine.

And, I guess, that is why, well, one day, when there is something like a yard or a temperature above, say, ten degrees, perhaps there will be a Fido added to the mix.

For now, one baby is enough.






1 comment:

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